Losing My CoPilot

Posted at 12:27 AM on December 28, 2011

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Lake Stevens Pet Show 96′

As some of you may know and others don’t. Last month I lost my friend and feline co-pilot Bird. She lost the good fight to her second stroke. She had her first stroke a year prior and fought if off and kept on keepin on. But this stroke was too much for her at the old age of 16.

Birds Last Pic

There is a struggle in life to live and a struggle to die but after each struggle there’s always a sense of peace. When Bird died in my arms and she took her last breath, I thought there was going to be an overwhelming amount of sorrow.

Actually I felt relieved that she wasn’t struggling anymore and that she was able to rest. Wherever she goes, I have no idea, maybe some of you know for sure but I have no idea what happens when you die…it freaks me out but you know what… it’s the good kind of freak out. It’s that mystery we all get to find out in the end and Bird got to find out before me.

Bird is the word

I’ve never seen death before. Knowing this cat and being with her for 16 years, born in my house, building tree-forts as a kid with this cat. She was there from the beginning. To see her go the way she did…it was…I want to say magical but most people see magical as a good thing. This was one of those experiences that wasn’t good but also wasn’t bad…it was death…it was a passing, a change and we all are gonna do it. I hope mine will be as beautiful as Bird’s was. She was curled up with a loved one, she wasn’t alone, she wasn’t cold. She was leaving and I was lucky enough to be there and watch her set sail.

Always A Smile To My Right

Bird passed away at 5am in a business parking lot in Las Vegas and I had her cremated by a local animal hospital. Now I am alone, she is gone and I am here alone in my RV. It’s different now, there is a lot of things I look at differently. Most people change after a near death experience or when something amazing or terrifying happens. I think I got a sense of all three. I don’t want to be the same guy that I was before. I think now there’s a little more, if not just .0001 % understanding of what life is all about.

Have Bird Will Travel

It’s weird to know when something intangible is gone. It makes you understand life is more than just experiences, its connections that really give us life. Between you and everyone and everything you let into your world.

My hope for explaining this experience wasn’t to make you sad but really to have you take a look at your own life and your connections with your friends and your pets. They are just like you…they’re a soul, they are going to come and go and when they’re gone it’s different…you’re different.

After Birds first stroke a year ago, I knew the clock was ticking and she wasn’t going to be around much longer. So I was going to make sure to cherish every moment I could have with her.  There were nights all I did was just pet her for hours and hours. Just relaxing, chilling with my homie Bird. We both were breathing, living, me smiling, her purring… just enjoying it all. No struggles, no worries, just living life.

 

Bird 1995-2011

Bird’s ashes are going to be scattered at Mission Bay Park in San Diego California. Why there? Well, it’s one of the places we have traveled to that she really seemed to embrace the road lifestyle just as much, if not more than myself. Laying in the grass, soaking in the sun and breathing in the sweet sea air. That cat lived the life other cats can only dream about. She had it all and I made sure of it. Not in the crazy “cat lady” kind of way. I just wanted to make sure she was always… always good…you know.

 

16 years of flying together, house to apartment to townhouse to beach house to an RV. She was there for it all and was always right by my side at night as I dreamed about tomorrow. I feel so lucky to have connected with such an awesome cat. Now I drive onward, towards another beautiful connection, holding with me a sense of love I will never misplace.

 

 

  1. Daniel Vickers - Home While You Drive

    28 Dec at 00:57 am

    Bird had the best of friends that she could ever find. Living day by day and adventure by adventure with the person she loved the most. You 2 were and are kindred spirits, sharing the same love for adventure and new things that some can only dream of. And you 2 shared stories that has inspired so many people and their pets. Me and Baby Gizmo being 2 that you 2 have inspired. Even though we haven’t met you or bird face to face, we miss her so much, and feel for you. I really enjoyed you sharing your thoughts on her passing and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us.

    Sincerely,
    Daniel, family and Baby Gizmo(the rv kitty) and Cadberry(the rv bunny)- the *fur kids*

  2. Mark E Tisdale

    28 Dec at 01:25 am

    What a lovely tribute to a good friend. It’s the rough part of having pets, knowing that most likely we’ll live to say goodbye to them, but you both enriched each other’s lives and it was infinitely worth it.

    Take care Randy and happy travels to Bird wherever she is. :-)

  3. Theo

    28 Dec at 01:56 am

    I am very sorry for you loss, losing our furry family is so hard. When I lost my dog Shasta, I was so sad, but someone sent me this poem and I was able to find solace.

    http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

  4. Robyn

    28 Dec at 08:27 am

    So sorry to hear about Bird. You were both very lucky to have each other. I have enjoyed reading the adventures you shared with Bird in this chapter of your life. Now a new chapter begins embrace it and enjoy it. And don’t forget to bring us along sometimes :)

  5. Dynishka

    28 Dec at 08:48 am

    You hit the term ‘Magical’ straight on, at least the way I view it. It is an in-between thing, an intangible…that is only tangible when experienced — Both Beautiful and Terrifying.
    Bird was a Warrior Cat, I mean that in the realm of adaptable, ever-changing, fearless. When she died, I was sad for you. You are changed and it shows, the road less traveled leads to a future that is wide open.
    Beautiful post,
    Everlong,
    Niish-

  6. Tom Atyeo

    28 Dec at 14:34 pm

    Dear Randy,
    I am so sorry for your loss. Bird was a truly individual and majestic feline. A real lady! Losing a companion of almost 6000 days is tragic, but of course having such a long time with her is a wonderful gift. Everyone here at Ultrapet also sends their condolences.
    Your post is a wonderful tribute to Bird.
    Best always,
    Tom

  7. BeckyIO

    28 Dec at 17:47 pm

    I’m sorry for your loss Randy. At least Bird lived a long and full life and passed peacefully, there is something to be said for that.

    I feel like I knew her without actually having met you two, since stumbling across your blog is what made me decide that looking for a feline companion once I’m on the road RVing full-time was an acceptable idea.

    I’m glad that I had the chance to know her online at least, and that you’ve found solace. This is a very beautiful and moving post, thank you for writing it.

  8. Sue Fortner

    28 Dec at 19:31 pm

    Dear Randy, First of all I am so glad to hear you are Ok and am very sad to hear that Bird pass away. I lost my bestfriend of 11 1/2 years on July 4, same day as her daughters birthday. Perious was her name and she was my best bud. She had 2 litters and out of the second came her daughter “Bear”. When Bear was born she look like a Polar Bear, all white, hence her name. She turned 10 this year. On the Thursday before her death, she started panting real hard and on Saturday I took her into the Vet. They said she was in CGF and sent me home with medication to slow down her heart but it did not work. By the end of the night on 4th July she had pass. For me it was heart breaking and I still cry because I miss her so much. I beleive in God and Heaven and some people beleive animals don’t go to Heaven but I think they do. So one day I will meet up with her and so many other beloved pet’s I have lost. Again, sorry for your lost and I look forward to your new travels. Life is short so enjoy each day as is was our last. God Bless…..Sue

  9. Dagny

    30 Dec at 16:40 pm

    This made me laugh and cry and giggle and feel such loss mixed with joy. I love my pets….I have 2 cats of my own who are 17 and 15 and believe me Randy, I completely understand. Thank you so much for sharing this story.

    Love, Dagny

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  13. Becky Blanton

    29 Feb at 18:01 pm

    So sorry for your loss. It is life altering to gain friends like Bird, and then again when you lose them. Great photos of you two! Obvious you loved her. Hang in there.

  14. Bill

    01 Mar at 17:03 pm

    I am so sory to hear of your loss. If i lost my Buddy CHANCE i would be so empty inside. Chance is 11/2 yrs old and i raised him from a 3 day old kitten feeding him with an eye droppen then baby bottle. When it was time to get chance neutered i found out he has some kidney problems. The vet put him on special food and he must get a blood test every three months to see how he’s doing. Right now you would not know there was a problem. I know eventually he will get sick and leave me but for now he is the most loving pet i have ever had. I love my buddy and traveling companion.Again i’m sory for your loss and hope you can find the kind of friendship you had with BIRD again. Thank you, A comrad in Kitty’s

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  21. Jamie

    23 Apr at 17:02 pm

    That’s sad, it really is…

    Funny thing is I have a cat exactly like Bird, a white Persian. Unfortunately when we moved to London getting onto two years ago, I was forced to give Jinx to a carer and have never returned.

    Man I need to go get my cat back… Grew up with it since the age of 7. Hopefully you’ll find something to resemble a Bird replacement, as weird as that may sound.

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