Road Bandit

Today old Betsy (The Road Bandit RV) woke up to a surprising scene… SNOW!  To think, all of this time the Road Bandits have built their minds up to escape the depressing late winter weather of Washington State and BAM!, they’re right back into the sleety muck!  As Randy put it, “the damn snow is following me everywhere I go!”  He speaks the truth!

About a month ago Randy was rallying up to Washington State to pick up Will.  He made a short stop in Susanville, CA to gas up Betsy.  It was a dead silent, clear night around 11:00pm—no cars, no people.  All that he could hear in the distance was the pumping of the gas as Betsy drank it down with a smile on her grill.  He thought to himself, “this ghost town ain’t my thang.  There’s no way I’m crashing here tonight!” So, he made is way up the small pass north of Susanville. “ROAD BANDIT, TALLYHO!”

At first, the slight grade up the pass was clear and pleasant, but then it started to rain.  Wipers speed: low.  Then it started to rain harder. Wipers speed: high.  Then snow started to creep its way into the raindrops and before Randy knew it, he was stuck in a full-on snow storm—within 5 minutes of the first sight of rain!  He continued the uphill climb until the road disappeared.  The windshield looked like television static and the ground was cushioned with powder.  Randy’s forehead was pressed against the glass, while his eyes watered from lack of blinking.  There was no way to drive at the posted speed.  “Slow her down now.”

Semi trucks were passing him from behind and barreling down the oncoming lane like a stampede.  No center-divide, a cliff to the east, these truckers had thrown caution to the wind.  This is the kind of road that claims the life of a missing homecoming date, leaving his girl broken-hearted.  “This is MADNESS,” Randy screamed.  He missed Susanville.  If only that town hadn’t have been so creepy!  “It’s time,” he thought, “to make my way back to that little ghost town and call it a night.”  Pulling a U-ie on a two lane mountain highway in the snow isn’t the easiest thing to do in a 24ft. RV, but there was no other option.  He waited for the right moment.  NOW!  He slowly pulled the RV forward and to the left.  “All is well.  Now, back her up.  Easy now.  Easy, easy… no…”  The RV started slipping.  “No… NO… NOOOO!  BIRD, BRACE FOR IMPACT!”  BOOM!  The RV slams into a snow bank on the side of the road, bending the drive-shaft like a Twizzler.

So, $1,200 later, Randy met up with Will in Washington to exchange the Road Bandit high five that will echo across the United States.  Let’s just hope, for Betsy’s sake, that today is the last day in a long while that the Road Bandits get caught up in the snow.  They’re way too pastey for snow anyway!  It’s time to let the sun shine in!

RB