The Road Bandit Project is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do in my life. I feel like a failure that hasn’t truly failed yet. So much potential lies ahead, only problem is, I’m not moving forward.
The Road Bandit Status
It’s embarrassing to admit that I am out of shape, broke, and have shades of gray in my hair due to stress. It’s also embarrassing to admit that I have wasted away the freedoms that I sacrificed everything to create. I’ve wasted away valuable days in a comma of uncertainty. Where am I going? What am I doing? Why can’t I get it together? The Road Bandit Project is again at a stand still.
Self-motivation is an art.
Nobody is going to help me or tell me what to do. Nobody is going to yell at me if I don’t follow through on my goals. Its up to me to wake up and get going on these problems I face. I’ve never really had trouble in the past with motivation. If there were things I wanted to get done I would just simply do it. If it took an hour or three days I would just do it. Now, for some reason I can’t do something as simply as getting an oil change. The mind is a tricky bastard that when provoked can turn into your own worst enemy. Let negative thoughts fill your head and there wont be any room for positive and productive thoughts to get in. I have to hold on to something and stay focused on it and not let the other distractions: money, doubt and laziness get in my way.
Now or Never
It’s hard to stay in the moment and realize how lucky I am when I am failing on what I set out to do. How many more times am I going get burned before I realize that fires are hot? For me to truly understand success it seems I always have to fail first. There is a great song by Hoobastank. The title is “Who the hell am I” The main lyrics are “Who the hell am I if I cant be me”. It’s a damn good way to look at life. Only problem is… it’s hard to keep that outlook when everyone around you pushes and pulls you toward their own perception of what you should be.
So if I cant be me then who the hell am I? Well I am Randy Primm!…and I am a Road Bandit. An outlaw from the common way of life… totally invested in my own dreams. I dip in and out of society as I travel these lonely roads. Moving forward I let the past fade away, knowing that soon tomorrow will be mine. I might be lost right now but I will soon find my way…will you?
P.S. If you like or dislike this post, let me know… don’t be shy. Your comments keep me company out on the lonely road.