I haven’t posted a blog or shot a road bandit video in quite some time and the main reason behind my lack of production is well embarrassing. I’ve been told not to post the whole truth of why your struggling since in devalues yourself in the eyes of your readers….well screw that cause I’m tired of holding this all in my head. I am struggling to get a hold of my life. I am in a constant state of blah and if I don’t do something soon I am going to lose out on some awesome opportunities in life.
This post sucks to write, it’s very revealing and I have no clue how you the reader will act when your done reading this post but whatever life is short and I’m tall so hit me with your best shot.
When I first hit the road I was living at the highest level of my life…well so far. I was in great shape physically and mentally. I didn’t second guess or struggle to take action with any ideas or projects I had in mind. Now that was over two years ago and since then I have endured some of the loneliest days of my life where I have lost the drive that got me out on the road in the first place. I’ve spent days and weeks alone in my RV and even had to spend Christmas in a business parking lot.
Alright enough hosh posh…this ain’t “The View” you want the facts…here’s the facts. I am in a huge hole in my life. I haven’t been able to cope properly with my best friend John passing away, I’ve lost touch with all my friends from the past who supported and cared about me and now the new people I meet on the road lose interest in hanging out with me when they realize what kind of rut I am in. Nobody likes to hang out with the depressed and unmotivated guy.
I am out of shape. It looks like I’m 3 months prego…seriously I haven’t been this out of shape my whole life and the lack of proper diet and exercise just adds to the shitty state of mind I am consistently in.
I can’t wake up before 11am on my own and if I do wake up before 11am I usually just go back to sleep because I have no drive to get up and start my day. I haven’t had a relationship with a girl in over two years and its really made me feel like there something wrong with me. When I am out in public I have to drink myself stupid to get out of my own head and just relax and enjoy the night and that usually just ends up with me sick in the morning driving the porcelain bus.
I’ve tried many times to get myself out of this funk and at times it works for a week or a month but eventually I falter back to my shitty state of mind where everyone else goes on living life while I sit in my 24ft house on wheels hating it. I sit there lacking the motivation to change it and all along just wondering how in the world am I going to turn this all around.
I don’t want this life anymore…I am not this guy, I know I’m not perfect but I am way better than this. I’ve been in ruts before just like you have and she has and they have. Only problem is my rut has lasted way to long and it seems to be getting stronger and stronger the longer I allow it to.
So what do I do to start moving in the right direction?
I can’t believe I am about to say this but I have weighed out some options and I think the best fit for me right now is some assistance from a life coach of some type. Someone who can help assist in my plans and help me layout a plan to get me going forward again and to make sure I don’t get off track. Friends are great but they have their lives to live as well and they don’t want the job of sitting down and analyzing my daily life.
Now this isn’t for years and years, I just need some help in getting back on my feet again. I know it comes down to me taking the action to change and I’m just hoping there is someone out there who is interested it working with me on a plan. I’ve always invested in myself and bringing someone on to help me work out a plan to get through this rough patch is the best investment for me to make right now.
So the questions now is….who’s up for the challenge?